“One key, I have learned, is not to keep from writing when you’re feeling down.” ~ Louise DeSalvo

My circadium rhythms clash with spring. Days are short; my nights too long. I’m up all hours, sad, restless - looking for creative clues. I open my laptop and google depression. I read about seasoned writers who train themselves to capture moments of inspiration yet mine has vanished. Determined to go after it “with a stick” I spend a couple fruitless hours pecking at the keyboard. Finally, I hit “delete” and go to bed.

Throwing off the morning covers, I drag myself to the kitchen teapot. I turn the nob on the gas stove, staring into the blue flame. Energy - I need it to write, to clean up the dishes, to pull out of this funk. Overwhelmed by the Ought-To demon, I let out a deep sigh. Soon I’m sipping plum tea, wondering if I can organize my attention-deficit into neat little compartments for the day. No, that won’t work. I take my tea to the table, turn to a bookmarked page in my bible, and read out loud:

“Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you…” (Isaiah 30:18).

But that’s it. I can’t see through the tears to read much more. I’m on overload and can’t “refresh.” The Lord nudges me to keep reading.

“He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you. And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it…’”(Isaiah 30:19-21).

Something washes over me. It’s Him - I know it. I pray, admit my need, give the day to Him, and relax about it. Eventually, I’m back at the keyboard, writing through my malaise.

This time I hit “save.” This time I have hope.